Okay, lets begin with the fact, I did not get into NIFT. NIFT i did not get into.
SOOOOOO, life is pretty not good because if I don't have that, I literally do not have anything else
There's MIT of course, which is my last option because it is a good college and it has the fees and everything but you know I might think that I might not even get into that college because the test has physics and maths and everything,
My NIFT was realllyyy good and the cut off was 50,40 and I got 50.10. (been telling everyone I got 50.30 tho)
So even if my paper went so good and that is my performance so probably I'm not really worth these design things. So I'm thinking even if I prepare for it I might not even get admission there. So i'm left with nothing
I so did not see things going this way so um it's not so cool. But I'm managing somehow.
Also called Saurabh Sir, he was pretty shocked to hear this bc he definitely thought I was gonna get in because of my drawing skill and everything.
But whatever you know, now I haven't gotten into it, so why think about it now.
All I gotta do now, is focus on MIT and everything
Last night I wasn't able to sleep because all of this kept revolving in my mind. I haven't done literally anything to make my parents proud.
Also think about the fees MIT has, its 5 lakhs per year. i don't want my Dad to be spending so much on me.
Also maybe I won't be also able to get into MIT. Life is kind of a mess rn?
And plus I have my psychology paper on 5th April.
Soooo I have to study for both simultaneously.
So this ranting is just a process of calming me down.
Speaking of that Mom gave me some kind of pill which makes you sleep at night. That does really work. And I felt very stress free today and I havent even cried or had that intense choking feeling in the throat.
Anyways somehow I connect everything with how I don't have strong social connections. I mean I did talk to Maithili for 45 minutes on the phone.
Pavanta called me when she got to know about this, and i gotta admit she is a REALLY good friend.
I feel bad for kind of not being able to put in some effort in our friendship because for me its kinda hard to maintain friendships because of my introversion. i mean cannot NOT talk a lot at times, I just can't.
I also saw a snap of you know who with his girl gang and that also kinda worsened my situation. It feels like maybe I'm socially isolated and I've badmouthed him a lot?
But everyone with me agrees what he did- not cool. So for everything happening, i will try to end it on a good note. No hate, despise, just, you know normalcy?
Of course it doesn't mean I would try to be friends or anything.
It's just, grudges are never cool, and so isn't hate and everything.
WHy waste your time for all this.
Why I feel like a maniac, cause I haven't been meeting people and social interaction and it takes time for me to adjust to such stuff. To get socially comfortable,
So I will be calling M and see if she is able to meet me up. She really really should.
Yes, a MAJOR THING which was revolving in my mind the entire night. One is that MIT is like LOADSA money. And my parents have to pay for such a huge sum. I mean they're obviously okay with it, but I don't want to burden them.
So, I have to put in MY ALLLLLL for NID. Because its not just for that money aspect, I think I can really ace the paper if I work hard for noe year. And atleast I won't regret that no I could not ace the paper because I didn't REALLY work hard the whole year.
Yes the snap thing mentioned above, really felt negative because you know I don't have a social strong anything right now, And I also overthink on it that I'm very sensitive and I can't really be able to connect with people. So it's pretty bad actually but hopefully I will get through because I believe in myself and I can really push myself to do it because it isn't that hard. I mean, cmon I can do it. No big deal, I will just keep pushing my limitd and try the best I can. Atleast I try to make things goos.
ALso I first read the book A Walk To Remember plus its movie too. Movie missin lots of book parts like the girl has blond hair in the book but is brunette and has green eyes or something in the movie.
So I should kinda stop and work on my life.
SOOOOOO, life is pretty not good because if I don't have that, I literally do not have anything else
There's MIT of course, which is my last option because it is a good college and it has the fees and everything but you know I might think that I might not even get into that college because the test has physics and maths and everything,
My NIFT was realllyyy good and the cut off was 50,40 and I got 50.10. (been telling everyone I got 50.30 tho)
So even if my paper went so good and that is my performance so probably I'm not really worth these design things. So I'm thinking even if I prepare for it I might not even get admission there. So i'm left with nothing
I so did not see things going this way so um it's not so cool. But I'm managing somehow.
Also called Saurabh Sir, he was pretty shocked to hear this bc he definitely thought I was gonna get in because of my drawing skill and everything.
But whatever you know, now I haven't gotten into it, so why think about it now.
All I gotta do now, is focus on MIT and everything
Last night I wasn't able to sleep because all of this kept revolving in my mind. I haven't done literally anything to make my parents proud.
Also think about the fees MIT has, its 5 lakhs per year. i don't want my Dad to be spending so much on me.
Also maybe I won't be also able to get into MIT. Life is kind of a mess rn?
And plus I have my psychology paper on 5th April.
Soooo I have to study for both simultaneously.
So this ranting is just a process of calming me down.
Speaking of that Mom gave me some kind of pill which makes you sleep at night. That does really work. And I felt very stress free today and I havent even cried or had that intense choking feeling in the throat.
Anyways somehow I connect everything with how I don't have strong social connections. I mean I did talk to Maithili for 45 minutes on the phone.
Pavanta called me when she got to know about this, and i gotta admit she is a REALLY good friend.
I feel bad for kind of not being able to put in some effort in our friendship because for me its kinda hard to maintain friendships because of my introversion. i mean cannot NOT talk a lot at times, I just can't.
I also saw a snap of you know who with his girl gang and that also kinda worsened my situation. It feels like maybe I'm socially isolated and I've badmouthed him a lot?
But everyone with me agrees what he did- not cool. So for everything happening, i will try to end it on a good note. No hate, despise, just, you know normalcy?
Of course it doesn't mean I would try to be friends or anything.
It's just, grudges are never cool, and so isn't hate and everything.
WHy waste your time for all this.
Why I feel like a maniac, cause I haven't been meeting people and social interaction and it takes time for me to adjust to such stuff. To get socially comfortable,
So I will be calling M and see if she is able to meet me up. She really really should.
Yes, a MAJOR THING which was revolving in my mind the entire night. One is that MIT is like LOADSA money. And my parents have to pay for such a huge sum. I mean they're obviously okay with it, but I don't want to burden them.
So, I have to put in MY ALLLLLL for NID. Because its not just for that money aspect, I think I can really ace the paper if I work hard for noe year. And atleast I won't regret that no I could not ace the paper because I didn't REALLY work hard the whole year.
Yes the snap thing mentioned above, really felt negative because you know I don't have a social strong anything right now, And I also overthink on it that I'm very sensitive and I can't really be able to connect with people. So it's pretty bad actually but hopefully I will get through because I believe in myself and I can really push myself to do it because it isn't that hard. I mean, cmon I can do it. No big deal, I will just keep pushing my limitd and try the best I can. Atleast I try to make things goos.
ALso I first read the book A Walk To Remember plus its movie too. Movie missin lots of book parts like the girl has blond hair in the book but is brunette and has green eyes or something in the movie.
So I should kinda stop and work on my life.
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