It is March, I've had like little realisation that the year has gone off swiftly, like three months are done.
I'd like to talk about my depressed phase, and my mental condition which was getting really worse. Firstly, lemme just say I'm in a much better place now however i always feel like a big mental breakdown or sad phase is in it's way. It's like I'm enveloped in a sphere of anxiety of this whole situation. I'd not wanna elaborate more because of the fear of going back to that place again.
Let's just say I was overthinking too much about not overthinking and what I'm not, what I should be and shiz.
Buutt, good news, my depressive phase, where it was the first time I felt like dying and not wanting to live, is over and I feel bliss. IM CALM.
What has changed me into feeling happy again:
Headspace regular Meditation. (That stuff, works.)
putting a stop on negative thought process. its a mind fucker.
And you know, like really just rationalizing things.
also some credit to my psychologist therapy sessions.
and SMILINGGGGG
Kind of being me again. I feel natural, and I feel that the original me is back. it's a really good feeling :)
Anyway it's history, on 20th so gotta study my ass off.
Unleashing my humour on Twitter plus the other social media is my human interaction currently. No, there's nothing bad in it, or it doesn't mean I'm a bad person unworthy of friendship, cause I gotta study.
whew. lets not go deep into that, 'right.
Also what's really funny is that Bitch (my ex) (juvenile, but can't help with the despise) actually posted Photos of Asian girls 7 days in A ROW, so that I'd notice them. I mean, reeking of desperation much. lmaoooo. but i actually tapped on the latest one by mistake, which means his ego is satisfied.
Pretty much all of his captions included "Asian girls are the girls I want" "There is no one in this world like this girl, love HER (look Khushi, I'm hopelessly in love with girls I've never met and hope I look like I've forgotten you and you don't mean anything to me.)
But he hasn't posted any after the one I saw.
Anyway, nice try, bitch.
Issss ma birthdayyyy in less than a month. BUTTTT im tryna be chill, not excited or anything. like zero expectations, because hell noooo i dont wanna fuc it up.
Muskan, she's celebrating on the next day (her birthday, originally on 6th march)
She asked me for a combined party, but hell no. Cause i really don't wanna be felt like I'm given less attention, on my own goddamn birthday.
It's gon be with people I love, like Maithili.
So currently planning a lowkey one, probs with M. and maybe Vanshika, Ritika and *gag* Sakshi may come. And prolly some nice dinner at Mocha with Roshni and Chotu.
I mean they do annoy me a lot, but we're blood and we have fun and somehow i do love them.
There's no way in hell i'm celebrating it at Lotus Grand, the staple family gathering hotel cause it's my aunt's. I mean I know how 16th went like there.
Also I really don't wanna age. 17 seems like old to me. which isn't. stilll.
wasted about half an hour on this, so gotta study even if my mode ain't on.
I'd like to talk about my depressed phase, and my mental condition which was getting really worse. Firstly, lemme just say I'm in a much better place now however i always feel like a big mental breakdown or sad phase is in it's way. It's like I'm enveloped in a sphere of anxiety of this whole situation. I'd not wanna elaborate more because of the fear of going back to that place again.
Let's just say I was overthinking too much about not overthinking and what I'm not, what I should be and shiz.
Buutt, good news, my depressive phase, where it was the first time I felt like dying and not wanting to live, is over and I feel bliss. IM CALM.
What has changed me into feeling happy again:
Headspace regular Meditation. (That stuff, works.)
putting a stop on negative thought process. its a mind fucker.
And you know, like really just rationalizing things.
also some credit to my psychologist therapy sessions.
and SMILINGGGGG
Kind of being me again. I feel natural, and I feel that the original me is back. it's a really good feeling :)
Anyway it's history, on 20th so gotta study my ass off.
Unleashing my humour on Twitter plus the other social media is my human interaction currently. No, there's nothing bad in it, or it doesn't mean I'm a bad person unworthy of friendship, cause I gotta study.
whew. lets not go deep into that, 'right.
Also what's really funny is that Bitch (my ex) (juvenile, but can't help with the despise) actually posted Photos of Asian girls 7 days in A ROW, so that I'd notice them. I mean, reeking of desperation much. lmaoooo. but i actually tapped on the latest one by mistake, which means his ego is satisfied.
Pretty much all of his captions included "Asian girls are the girls I want" "There is no one in this world like this girl, love HER (look Khushi, I'm hopelessly in love with girls I've never met and hope I look like I've forgotten you and you don't mean anything to me.)
But he hasn't posted any after the one I saw.
Anyway, nice try, bitch.
Issss ma birthdayyyy in less than a month. BUTTTT im tryna be chill, not excited or anything. like zero expectations, because hell noooo i dont wanna fuc it up.
Muskan, she's celebrating on the next day (her birthday, originally on 6th march)
She asked me for a combined party, but hell no. Cause i really don't wanna be felt like I'm given less attention, on my own goddamn birthday.
It's gon be with people I love, like Maithili.
So currently planning a lowkey one, probs with M. and maybe Vanshika, Ritika and *gag* Sakshi may come. And prolly some nice dinner at Mocha with Roshni and Chotu.
I mean they do annoy me a lot, but we're blood and we have fun and somehow i do love them.
There's no way in hell i'm celebrating it at Lotus Grand, the staple family gathering hotel cause it's my aunt's. I mean I know how 16th went like there.
Also I really don't wanna age. 17 seems like old to me. which isn't. stilll.
wasted about half an hour on this, so gotta study even if my mode ain't on.
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