SO after some debating I'm finally going to give a try on this virtual diary thingie. Might get time to get used to it, always write on paper. This seems a bit weird. Since its pretty easy to delete from here when the future me finds it cringeworthy. But whatever, less of self loathing, all of self loving. Its easier here to type out everything quickly. So, gonna pour out all of my feelings out here. Feels good to read and remember all old parts of your mind in the future.
I also wanna improve my writing skills and make good use of them. I wanna hone all of my skills and become successful. But easier said than done. There's also acting and imitation and I make the best of memes. Still kinda unsure on how to start as an entertainer. Making videos is a huge step of dedication and hardwork of good quality work. also dealing with criticism.
But I do wanna prove all the people who have come and gone in my life, that I'm capable of a lot of stuff, I'm not simply who they think I am. And a good kind of retribution for me. Ive felt a majority of time that people dont like me for who I am since I couldnt express myself.
However there's lot of n egative thinking process involved in that part, which can be worked upon. Which I am. No more depression for me too ^^
I find it really irritating that my ex consumes my mind. I may not be thinking about him any time the whole day, but it's like he's just there. Still there. Sitting at the back of my mind. Kinda beaming with pride of how he still kinda got some control over me.
The bad part is that it was all virtual. But the things which he led me on to, of him wanting to meet me, deciding places, me picturing things going a certain way when we finally meet. How would we be like.
I ignored all his stupid signs when I met him before.
I kinda should've considered of REALLY knowing the person. I mean, the deep chats we used to have, as if we both were split images of each other, relating too much to each other, it all made me trust him so much.
Also his reputation was pretty cool. I mean hanging out with some cool girls of my old school.
There was no room left for doubt.
It was wayyyy long till when his sweet, perfect guy illusion in my mind shattered.
I always overlooked through it all. Man, this infatuation shit really makes you kinda blind to the other person, even if he got shit personality
The guy was manipulative af, blamed everything on me, had typical Mr. Right douche moves, and always had a fake show of being the perfect guy. I despise him so much rn but im just wasting my energy on a guy who doesnt even deserve to occupy so much of my mind.
He really does match to all of these points in this link:
https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people/
I do not want a fatass pimply guy. Who is SHIT from inside too. I mean I never consider looks ever. Like the real connection felt from inside with another person itself is attractive AF.
The guy controlling everything above, Pls throw a Giorgio Armani Model in front of me. Who's the same inside as outside.
Fictional characters really mess up things cause theyre so friggin perf.
MATTY MCKIBBEN, JUGHEAD JONES, AIDEN PARKER, AUGUSTUS, USUI EFFING TAKUMI, NOAH CALHOUN, CHANDLER BING, JACK DAWSON, CHARLIE (perks), CHUCK BASS NATE ARCHIBALD ughhhhhh.
BRB, history 12th boards test prep.
I also wanna improve my writing skills and make good use of them. I wanna hone all of my skills and become successful. But easier said than done. There's also acting and imitation and I make the best of memes. Still kinda unsure on how to start as an entertainer. Making videos is a huge step of dedication and hardwork of good quality work. also dealing with criticism.
But I do wanna prove all the people who have come and gone in my life, that I'm capable of a lot of stuff, I'm not simply who they think I am. And a good kind of retribution for me. Ive felt a majority of time that people dont like me for who I am since I couldnt express myself.
However there's lot of n egative thinking process involved in that part, which can be worked upon. Which I am. No more depression for me too ^^
I find it really irritating that my ex consumes my mind. I may not be thinking about him any time the whole day, but it's like he's just there. Still there. Sitting at the back of my mind. Kinda beaming with pride of how he still kinda got some control over me.
The bad part is that it was all virtual. But the things which he led me on to, of him wanting to meet me, deciding places, me picturing things going a certain way when we finally meet. How would we be like.
I ignored all his stupid signs when I met him before.
I kinda should've considered of REALLY knowing the person. I mean, the deep chats we used to have, as if we both were split images of each other, relating too much to each other, it all made me trust him so much.
Also his reputation was pretty cool. I mean hanging out with some cool girls of my old school.
There was no room left for doubt.
It was wayyyy long till when his sweet, perfect guy illusion in my mind shattered.
I always overlooked through it all. Man, this infatuation shit really makes you kinda blind to the other person, even if he got shit personality
The guy was manipulative af, blamed everything on me, had typical Mr. Right douche moves, and always had a fake show of being the perfect guy. I despise him so much rn but im just wasting my energy on a guy who doesnt even deserve to occupy so much of my mind.
He really does match to all of these points in this link:
https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people/
I do not want a fatass pimply guy. Who is SHIT from inside too. I mean I never consider looks ever. Like the real connection felt from inside with another person itself is attractive AF.
The guy controlling everything above, Pls throw a Giorgio Armani Model in front of me. Who's the same inside as outside.
Fictional characters really mess up things cause theyre so friggin perf.
MATTY MCKIBBEN, JUGHEAD JONES, AIDEN PARKER, AUGUSTUS, USUI EFFING TAKUMI, NOAH CALHOUN, CHANDLER BING, JACK DAWSON, CHARLIE (perks), CHUCK BASS NATE ARCHIBALD ughhhhhh.
BRB, history 12th boards test prep.
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